Showing posts from December, 2018

I Watch

R. HowardI watch as my son became a teen and his brain went to mush. He now knows more than anyone and has life figured out. Anything I say is nonsense to him and nothing is as bad as I make it sound. I watch. Struggle after struggle. Mistake after mistake. I watch. I want so much to get through to him, to make him see that he is messing up. He rarely listens to my advice. So, I watch. Watch as his heart gets broken or he breaks hearts. Watch as he learns about relationships. As he learns what works and what doesn’t.I watch as the unfairness of life rips at him, scarring him, forming him into the man he will be.I worry constantly if I have done the right thing. If I used the right words so he doesn’t think I am simply being mean.While I watch, I fret and fear. No one wants a knock on the door or a middle of the night call. Some of those are worse than others. I count myself blessed to still have him but it was still a horrifying night. These moments make me question what I di…